Cattle Guards



The following needs to be made clear in order for you to appreciate the story.

For those who have never traveled to the great west, cattle guards are horizontal rails placed on the road at fence openings to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the animals will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. They are common in cattle country and there are millions in place.

Now TRUTH IS FUNNIER (and sadder) than fiction ………………

President Clinton was trying to manipulate cattle grazing policies. About that same time, he received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, the President ordered Secretary of Interior, Bruce Babbitt, to fire half of the cattle guards immediately.

Before Babbitt could respond, and presumably straighten him out, Colorado's congresswoman, Pat Schroeder, with large interest in the cattle industry, intervened with a request that before they were fired, the cattle guards be given six months of retraining.

Al Gore, never one to pass up a chance to piggy back on any story, suggested that if the cattle guards formed a strong union, such as the teachers have with the NEA, they would not be in jeopardy.

The true definition of cattle guards was soon revealed to their embarrassment - but not before word got out…

And so it goes, in this election year.
We are now governed by the pack of fools.